Funny Movie Quotes

By | September 9, 2013

Looking for Funny Movie Quotes? We have picked the best Famous Funny Movie Quotes from cult classics to blockbusters!. 

“My job requires mostly masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men’s room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that less closely resembles Hell.”
American Beauty

“Hey, don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.”
Annie Hall

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”
Apocalypse Now

“I may be bad…but I feel gooood.”
Army of Darkness

“When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome… and then, of course, you spoke.’
As Good As It Gets

“When I ask for sharks with frickin’ laser beams on their heads, I expect sharks with frickin’ laser beams on their heads!”
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

The Great Tyrant: I shall share my delights with you. You shall make love to me.
Pygar: An angel doesn’t *make* love. An angel *is* love.
The Great Tyrant: Then you’re a dead duck. – Guards! To the Mathmos with this winged fruitcake.

“Don’t bogart the joint!”
Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls

“You’re a groovy boy. I’d like to strap you on sometime.”
Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls

“I like simple pleasures, like butter in my ass, lollipops in my mouth. That’s just me. That’s just something that I enjoy.”
Boogie Nights

“Do you think if we changed the Bible stories maybe you would get people more easily to relate to them? Instead of the fish story you could do it about Sushi, or instead of giving out bread you did something which had a no-carb alternative or gluten free.”

“When a man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher’s knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn’t out collecting for the Red Cross!”
Dirty Harry

“What an excellent day for an exorcism.”
The Exorcist

“You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.”
Fight Club

Tyler sold his soap to department stores at $20 a bar. Lord knows what they charged. It was beautiful. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them.
Fight Club

Bond: You’re not my type.
Girl: Why, cause I have half a brain?
Bond: No, cause you’re single.
James Bond-Casino Royal

“To make honey. Young bee need young flower…Not old prune. ”
Karate Kid

“I don’t know if my wife left me because of my drinking or I started drinking ’cause my wife left me.”
Leaving Las Vegas

“That’s nice talk, Ben – keep drinking. Between the 101-proof breath and the occasional bits of drool, some interesting words come out.”
Leaving Las Vegas

Beneath his black-rimmed glasses was the coiled sexual power of a jungle cat.

“I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion.”

“I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics.”

“He’s not the messiah. He’s a very naughty Boy.”
Monty Python-Life of brian

“Birdie Num Num.”
The Party

“We all go a little mad sometimes.”

“God, I’d give anything for a drink. I’d give my god-damned soul for just a glass of beer.”
The Shining

“I never listen to you when you’re being morbid.”
A Streetcar Named Desire

“What are you going to do for an encore? Walk on water?”
The Wedding Crashers

“How bout I answer your question with another question; how many abo-digitals do you see modelling?”

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