Funny Birthday Quotes

Fantastic and funny birthday quotes for even more smiles on the big day!

Enjoy these humorous birthday quotes, ideal for your partner, friends or family!

Funny Birthday Quotes

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Anon

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
Robert Frost

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.
Fred Astaire

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Jack Benny

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucille Ball

The Best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
H. V. Prochnow

The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.
T. S. Eliot

Nature gives you the face you have at twenty, but it's up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.
Coco Chanel

From birth to age eighteen, a girl needs good parents. From eighteen to thirty-five, she needs good looks. From thirty-five to fifty-five, she needs a good personality. From fifty-five on, she needs good cash.
Sophie Tucker

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished a how much he had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain

More Funny Birthday Quotes

At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty, the wit; and at forty, the judgement
Benjamin Franklin

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.
French proverb

You take all the experience and judgement of men over fifty out of the world and there wouldn't be enough left to run it.
Henry Ford

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Ogden Nash

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
Bob Hope

What I wouldn't give to be seventy again!
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

In a dream you are never eighty.
Anne Sexton

The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five-year-old men
Colleen McCullough

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
Reverend Larry Lorenzoni

To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am.
Bernard M. Baruch

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
Maurice Chevalier

Favorite Funny Birthday Quotes

You've heard of the three ages of man - youth, age, and "you are looking wonderful."
Francis Cardinal Spellman

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake
Bob Hope

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell anything.
Oscar Wilde

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
Ogden Nash

Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Edgar Guest

It's sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.
Brigitte Bardot

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.
Jim Eason